Twisted Fates
by roadside-author
Summary: Remus was standing there, eyes closed and face lifted to the skies without a care in the world. An occasional wind lifted his hair in a playful dance, made his clothes ripple and lift to reveal the bare skin of his back teasingly..SBRL, AU
1. First Meetings

Sirius glanced at his watch for the third time in fifteen minutes, jiggling his right foot impatiently. He was a restless person by nature, and the fact that James' plane had gotten delayed only made matters worse. Not to mention, there was this hot guy who had been staring at Sirius ever since he'd entered the airport; and Sirius wanted nothing more than to just drag him into the W.C. and fuck him right now. But he resisted. Not out of decency, but because friends always came first.

He shifted in his chair, briefly wondering if James had enjoyed his trip to France. It had been a sort of birthday present to him from Sirius, and truthfully, the only way he could find to cure his best friend's heartbreak.

_Sirius handed James a large drink as he settled on the chair beside him. 'She wasn't going to show up and you knew it, mate. So cheer up, yeah? I didn't throw a fucking grand party for you to mope around like an ungrateful twat.' _

_James gulped down his drink all together and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. 'I don't understand why she won't give me a fucking chance. I mean, high school was bloody ages ago, and she's still holding on to the notion of me being an arrogant and self centred prick.' _

'_And you are still holding on to the hope of her going out with you.' Sirius sighed and rested his forearms against the table. 'Listen, mate, you got to look outside the box, yeah? Try someone else instead of waiting on your hands and knees for some stupid bird who can't see you for the great person you are.' _

'_Lily's not stupid,' James argued, failing to see the point. _

_Sirius watched the crowd of sweaty bodies meshed together on the dance floor longingly. James was lucky Sirius loved him so much, or he would be drowning in his own misery alone right now. 'My point is that you shouldn't have to be humiliating yourself like this, James. You're a fucking football star! There are entire queues of women waiting to have your babies. Why don't you ask them out for a change?' _

'_I don't think I'm ready for babies yet,' said James, grinning and trying to make light of the situation. _

_Sirius grabbed James by the shoulders and looked deep into his hazel eyes. 'Forget her.' _

_James looked away. 'It's easy for you to say, you know. All you think about is fucking. I never see you trying to make into a relationship.' _

_Sirius rolled his eyes. 'That's because, unlike you, my existence doesn't depend on love and all that sodding bullshit. It depends on sex, and I get it whenever I need it.'_

_James snorted. 'You make it sound like a product in the bloody supermarket.' _

_Sirius chuckled. 'Don't give me high hopes, Jamie boy.' _

_James sighed and buried his face in his hands. 'Maybe you're right. Maybe it's time I got over her…got on with my life.' _

_Sirius patted him on the back encouragingly. 'That's the spirit. And to celebrate your new found self, I present you with this.' Sirius dug into his pockets and laid an envelope on the table. _

_James frowned, opening the envelope seal suspiciously. Sirius was well known for his outrageous pranks, even at a mature age of twenty-eight. 'Tickets to France!!!' _

_The disbelief in James's face was worth the money. Sirius laughed and kissed him on the cheek. 'Happy birthday, brother.' _

'_Sirius, you've already-' _

_Sirius shushed him with a wave of his hand. 'Flight's on the 15th. I want you to have the time of your life, dine at the most lavish returants and shop at the most hip malls. Then, I'd tell you to fuck every single hot woman there, but knowing you, it's best you find someone you can cuddle with after a hard day of work.'_

_James shook his head exasperatedly. 'I love you, you know that, don't you?' _

_Sirius laughed. 'Yeah, yeah, now get your arse off this stool and dance with me!' _

Sirius nearly shot off his chair when he saw James walk through the gates, smiling when his friend spotted him and waved cheerily. Sirius was slightly disappointed to notice that James's hands were occupied with suitcases instead of potential females. It would seem, that despite his best efforts, James had come home alone.

Well, not entirely alone, Sirius realised, as his eyes strayed to the figure on James's right and stayed there. Apparently, James had made a friend in the plane, and what a friend it was. Dirty blond hair combed back haphazardly, emerald green eyes shining excitedly as he talked rapidly about something or the other; a bit on the small side and not too built either, but as he bent over to help James with one of his bags, Sirius noticed that he had a great arse. Very fuckable and Sirius was hoping James would introduce him, being the amazing friend he was.

'Hey you!' James pulled him into a one armed hug. 'How have you been?'

Sirius noticed that Sexy Arse had decided to stick after all, and was watching them with an amused smile. 'Missed you, mate, but you look like you had the time of your life, eh?'

James grinned. 'Bloody tops…wait till you hear some of the stories I have to tell.'

Sirius smiled, his eyes checking out Sexy Arse thoroughly and unabashedly. He winked and delighted when the bloke blushed and looked away 'Who's the hottie?' asked Sirius, gesturing towards Sexy Arse with his chin.

James raised an eyebrow and pulled Sexy Arse closer to him by the shoulders. 'The _hottie_ is Remus Lupin, my new boyfriend. So eyes to yourself, Black.'

Sirius blinked for a while and then promptly burst out laughing. At James and Sexy A- Remus's confused faces, he hastened to explain. 'Funny thing, Jamie boy. See, I thought I heard you say that this man…' He pointed to Remus 'Is your boyfriend.'

James kissed Remus lightly on the lips. A very disturbing image and Sirius hoped to God he was hallucinating. 'You heard right.'

He was going to faint some time now, Sirius was sure of it. 'I thought you liked birds.'

James shrugged like it was no big deal that his sexual preference had just taken a 360 turn. 'Guess I like both.'

Sirius rubbed his forehead, still unable to digest his friend's revelation. 'Wow, amazing what can happen in three months, eh?' He looked at Remus and smiled weakly. 'So, you French or what?'

Remus grinned, a small dent forming in his left cheek. 'No, I'm originally from the Chelsea. I moved to London a year ago. Had to go to France on important business.'

Sirius was impressed – brains and an arse – who would have guessed?

'We met on the plane to France,' said James, looking at Remus admiringly. 'Decided to stick around together rather than move around the place alone. Don't know when this hit us though.' He gestured at the minute space between them.

James hadn't looked this content in a long while, and Sirius found himself relaxing to the situation. As long as his best friend was happy, it didn't matter.

'James has told me so much about you,' said Remus, holding out his hand. 'I'm glad I finally got the opportunity to meet you.'

Sirius unconsciously held on to their handshake for a second too long. 'Bit formal, isn't he?' asked Sirius, winking at James and not bothering to keep his voice down.

James and Remus chuckled.

'I'll get us a trolley,' said Remus, and Sirius watched him walk towards the long line of carts in the corner.

'I asked him to move in with us. I hope that's okay,' said James, breaking Sirius out of his reverie

Sirius waved it off. 'It's fine. You don't have to ask, you know that.'

James beamed. 'God, Sirius, you were right, you know. I mean, I had my doubts at first, but Remus is so fucking wonderful, it's unbelievable!' He frowned at Sirius's lack of response and placed a concerned hand on his shoulder. 'You like him don't you? I mean, you think he's all right and all, yeah?'

Sirius thought his best friend had cost him a very good fuck, but he could get plenty of arses like that whenever he wanted. He didn't think it was that much of a deal. But this Remus chap seemed to really bring out the life in James, so in Sirius's eyes he was more than just all right.

It was still a bit of a shocker, but Sirius would get over it.

'I think he's great for you, mate, I really do,' he whispered, pulling James into a hug.

XxxxX


	2. Lustful Glances

Sirius dragged his slippered feet across the bathroom, eyes still shut and moving around simply from memory that was borne from years of living in the same flat. He maneuvered himself to the toilet bowl barely avoiding bumping into the sink. He could hear the shower running beside him, but couldn't be bothered with decency this early in the morning and emptied his straining bladder.

'James, could you pass me my towel please. It's on the rack.'

Sirius closed his fly and unthinkingly reached for the towel. He yawned and used it to rub the sand out of his eyes before handing it over.

'Thanks.'

Sirius nodded drowsily and reluctantly opened his eyes. He regretted it immediately as he came face to dick with none other than Remus Lupin. A very naked Remus Lupin. It took all of his strength to stop his jaw from unhinging.

'Oh, it's you, Sirius. You're up early' Remus smiled, toweling his hair dry and completely oblivious to Sirius's gaze _southwards_.

Sirius nodded robotically. His brain had shut down the minute the shower door had slid open and was currently echoing the same message over and over again. _Remus Lupin_ was standing in front of him, devoid of clothing, entirely _naked_ and blissfully starkers, bare as the day he was born – naked and wet, _naked and wet_, naked and wet, and _Jesus fucking Christ_, he was _very_ well endowed.

Underneath his shorts, he could feel the beginnings of a very painful and unwanted morning erection.

'What's the occasion?' asked Remus running a hand through his short hair and sending tiny rivulets of water running tantalizingly down his _flawless, creamy skin_.

'Need to pick up the bike from the garage,' replied Sirius. His lips had gone dry and his tounge darted out to lick them.

Remus nodded and wrapped the towel around his waist, much to Sirius's disappointment. 'I left you some hot water.'

Sirius smiled bitterly. 'I don't think I'll be needing it.'

Remus patted Sirius on the shoulder before opening the bathroom door. 'Don't be too long, James and I are making pancakes for breakfast.'

'I wouldn't miss it for the world.'

Sirius emerged from a very dissatisfactory shower fifteen minutes later to find Remus pressed up against the kitchen counter, spatula in one hand and a fistful of James's shirt in another. It would be an understatement of the millennium to say he was being snogged within an inch of his life.

Sirius rolled his eyes. 'Your pancakes are burning,' he commented, taking a seat.

Remus blushed and pushed James away. Sirius noted that he wasn't the only one whom Remus had given an erection to today. He watched Remus flip the final pancake onto an already overgrown pile, trying his best to avoid Sirius's eyes. It was cute really; how Remus could turn beet red on being caught kissing, but had absolutely no qualms about parading around naked in front of Sirius. _Don't think about that now. You didn't go through all that trouble for it to come up again. _

James set three plates down before taking his own seat, and looking at Sirius with a very disgruntled expression. Sirius grinned cheekily.

'Well, look at that,' he exclaimed, as Remus brought the maple syrup. 'Not even a week and already you two have settled into domestic bliss.'

James cuffed Sirius up the head. 'Shut up.'

'Next you'll be holding hands and going for walks in the park.'

'What's wrong with that?' asked James indignantly, managing to spray Sirius with bits of pancake.

Sirius wiped his cheek, disgusted. 'Nothing, except that you're only 28. Go out, party a bit, have some fun, don't limit yourself to just one person – no offense, Remus.'

Remus waved it off. 'None taken. But Sirius...' He leaned on one elbow. 'Don't you ever wish for something more than that?'

Sirius raised an eyebrow. 'There's something more than money and sex? You've got to be kidding.'

Remus shrugged. 'Well, there's love…' He wasn't deterred by Sirius's snort and continued, 'I mean, don't you want to have a warm body to snuggle against at night, or someone who'll always be there to pick up after you and call you beautiful even when you're looking like shite? Or even someone who'll actually see you for who you are and not your dick?'

Sirius stared at Remus for a long time. For so long, that he'd almost begun imagining himself holding hands in the park with an anonymous face. Almost…he came to his senses soon enough and all it took was remembering his parents back home. He mentally shook his head and attempted his most blasé expression. 'My God, James, you guys are made for each other.'

James grinned, kissing Remus on the cheek.

Sirius felt like he was going to be sick. 'Fucking romantics.' He laid down his knife and fork, and stood up. 'Well, I'm off to work. Responsibilities and all…'

'You didn't answer the question, you know,' said Remus, placing all the dirty plates in the sink.

_Damn, he was smart._ Sirius shrugged and kissed James on the cheek. 'I have my buddy and so far, he's all I've ever needed.'

XxxxX

Sirius groaned and pulled his pillow over his head, trying his hardest to _just go to sleep._ He couldn't believe it! This was the third time! The _third_ time they were having sex, and James's moans were louder than ever.The third fucking time of hearing his friend's incessant moans of _'Oh, Remus!' _and '_Bloody Christ!'_ and _'Oh God, yeah!'_ and _'You're so fucking great!'_

The fucking must have been great for James to be this vocal. Sirius had had the misfortune of sharing a dormitory and later, an apartment with James for eighteen years, and never had he heard James moan so loud, even when he was fucking Sincerity Greene – the school hottie.

'_Oh God!' _

Sirius shut his eyes tightly and buried himself deep within his blankets. This was completely and totally unfair. Sirius had been the sluttish homosexual in the house and James had been the celibate heterosexual. He had never been informed of a role reversal.

'_Faster, Remus!'_

It was also completely unfair that despite Remus being in London for nearly a year, James had got to him first. What were the odds? After all, Sirius had slept with almost every homosexual in the city…well, the good looking ones at least. How could he have missed this one?

'_Ah-'_

Thing was, Remus wasn't even _that_ good looking. He was completely ordinary and alarmingly skinny; but Sirius had an obsessive compulsive disorder to always have whatever he wanted, and making it unattainable simply increased it tenfold. And Sirius had wanted Remus ever since he set his eyes on him, and knowing he was good in bed wasn't helping matters at all.

'_Remus…I'm going to-'_

Great! Just bloody great! James had come; now what about Sirius? Listening to those two lovebirds going at it for over three hours had left Sirius with an insistent and aching boner. In fact, ever since Remus had moved in to the flat, Sirius was having hard-ons so often, he was sure he'd been infected by some undiscovered form of erectile dysfunction.

He sighed and stared down at the tent in his pyjama pants. He could always jack off…but no, that would be completely against his principles. Despite what one might assume, Sirius did have some sort of morality. He would not masturbate to his best friend's lover. More so, he would not masturbate to _James_ – that was just disgusting.

Then there were the cold showers. _At an hour past midnight? No bloody way!_

Sirius turned on his side and closed his eyes. He needed sleep right now, no matter how bad an erection. It would wilt on its own, but if he didn't get to work on time tomorrow, he would be fired – gun and bullet. Sex could wait until tomorrow. In fact, he could already feel his body relaxing, lulled by the silence it had craved for so long.

Sirius was just on the brink of sleep, when he heard it again – that rhythmic creaking of bed springs, and he let out his own frustrated groan.

'_Fuck, Remus…'_

That was when he decided he had had just about enough and got out of bed, pulling on a discarded pair of jeans from the floor. He was going to make James suffer for this, torture him for the rest of his life, cut his balls off and twist his dick into a painful knot…

As for Remus Lupin; well, he was turning out to be a bigger hassle than Sirius had initially thought, and he was just going to avoid the stupid arse as much as possible until this ridiculous urge to fuck him died down.

Sirius pulled on his jacket and snatched the keys from his bedside table.

'_Ah-harder! Oh God!'_

Meanwhile, he would just have to go to the club to find someone to fix his problem.

XxxxX


	3. Meaningful Conversations

Sirius was stuffing papers into his suitcase when he heard the door creaking open and sighed irritably. 'Beth, I'm off in two minutes. You know I won't be attending any calls until tomorrow,' he said without looking up.

'I was hoping you could spare a moment for me…'

Sirius recognised the voice immediately and lifted his eyes only slightly to acknowledge it. 'Lupin. Shouldn't you be snogging James right now?'

Inwardly Sirius was groaning in frustration. What the hell was Remus Lupin doing here, in his office? Remus Lupin, who had been the bane to his existence ever since he arrived and the man Sirius had been trying very hard to avoid for the past month. Obviously, he wasn't trying hard enough.

Remus blushed a deep crimson. 'The team manager called – Ms. Evans, I think. Apparently, Monday's interview's been rescheduled to today afternoon.'

Sirius vaguely wondered if Remus knew about James's old crush on Evans. 'And Jamie-boy didn't ask you to go? Now, that is a surprise…'

'He did actually,' replied Remus, watching Sirius clean up his desk and log off his computer. 'I refused to.'

Sirius raised an eyebrow. 'Not photogenic, are you?'

Stupid comment, really. Remus would look great in a picture - with his blue denims hugging his long legs, loose white t-shirt that showed a firm body underneath and his dirty blonde hair constantly falling into his eyes. It took all of Sirius's self restraint to not jump him right there. This infatuation really had to stop.

Remus shrugged. 'Guess not. I don't like publicity much.'

Sirius laughed sarcastically. 'Remus Lupin – the man who stole Britain's most eligible bachelor! You should be proud.'

Remus stared at Sirius for a while and then flopped down heavily on the couch beside the window. 'You hate me, don't you?' He asked bitterly, burying his face into his hands.

Sirius nearly screamed in frustration. He had to have the biggest, lustiest crush imaginable on Remus Lupin. Hate would have been a very preferable option, but was currently non-existent. Why the Gods did this to him, he could not imagine.

'What gave you that idea?' Sirius asked, telling both his mind and his cock to cool down.

Remus looked up from his hands. 'Well, that derisive expression to start with.'

Sirius didn't bother responding, didn't even know how to. If Remus thought Sirius hated him, maybe he would stay the fuck away. So, Sirius simply shrugged off his jacket and tie, and folded them into his suitcase. He untucked his shirt and let a few of the top buttons loose.

Remus watched Sirius apprehensively. 'Is it – I mean…can I ask you a question…if it's not too much-'

'Spit it out, Lupin.' Sirius examined his reflection in the window and started fiddling with his hair. It had become somewhat of a ritual on his part now. He'd comb his hair to the right, then decide on the left, and then just brush it back instead. Eventually, he would just leave it to nature to sort it out, because as much as he loved his dark hair, he rarely knew what to do with it.

'Are you in love with James?'

Sirius nearly choked on his own spit. Remus really was clueless. Hadn't he learned anything in these past few months? _Sirius_ in love with _James? _Bloody ridiculous. Still, it would be a shame not to have some fun at Lupin's expense, especially after what Lupin put him through.

'And what if I were? What would you do about it?' asked Sirius, looking directly at Remus and trying to keep a straight face.

Remus looked away, twisting the hem of his t-shit between his fingers. 'I-I guess I'd leave…if you want me to…'

Sirius snorted. _How typical_. 'I must admit, I never thought you'd be the kind to back out of a fight.'

'I'm not!' cried out Remus, standing up. 'I-I just think your friendship's more important, that's all. I mean, James has known you for years! It shouldn't be something you'd have to lose because of me!'

Sirius was a bit taken aback by Remus's answer. No one…no intelligent, self-respecting person would have ever said anything of that sort…and yet, Remus had. He had considered his and James's friendship first, the only form of relationship Sirius had truly believed in his entire life. He looked at Remus again, fidgeting under Sirius's gaze, and a newfound respect grew inside of him. Surprisingly, it had very little to do with Remus's tight arse.

'So, you're saying,' continued Sirius. 'That if I said yes, you'd leave James to me, knowing that I'm completely incapable of loving someone and will dump him once I find out how bad he is in bed…'

Remus laid a sympathetic hand on Sirius's arm, sending pleasant tingles through his body. 'You're not incapable of love.'

Sirius shifted a bit, so that Remus's hand slid off his arm. 'I see you're not defending James in my "bad in bed" statement,' he replied, grinning.

Remus's jaw dropped open, and he cuffed Sirius sharply up the head. 'You were having me on this whole time!'

Sirius burst out laughing.

'I can't believe it!' Remus cried out indignantly. 'And here I was, trying to do a good deed!'

Sirius pinched Remus's cheeks, still chuckling. 'You're too easy, Lupin. Everyone knows James and I are like brothers.'

Remus swatted Sirius's hand away. 'I hate you.'

Sirius stopped laughing abruptly. For some reason, that statement had sent a painful jolt to his chest. He shook his head and looked back at his reflection in the glass. Pulling at a single lock of hair, he wondered if he'd been infected with anything. What was happening to him?

'So, if you're not in love with James…why are you ignoring me?'

'Don't be bloody daft,' growled Sirius, frustrated with his hair more than usual. 'I'm not avoiding you.'

It was a lie of course. Sirius had been avoiding Remus in every possible way imaginable. He would get up early before anyone else and stayed in the club till two in the morning. He'd even stopped having meals at home and sometimes chose to spend nights at whoever his potential fuck was. He knew James must have noticed…knew that he might even be hurt…but if James wanted Sirius to keep his dick away from his boyfriend, it was really the best way.

Remus sighed and stood up. 'Well, I could be wrong.' He gently turned Sirius by the shoulders to face him, and ran long fingers through his dark hair. 'See, James is always saying how much fun you guys used to have and how bloody great you are, and…'

Sirius could feel his eyes closing as Remus fixed his hair, both hands delved deep into his scalp, massaging and pulling, and _Oh God…_Sirius's mind began to imagine other places these hands could be and he barely stopped himself from groaning out loud.

'I was hoping we could be good friends too, you know…maybe hang out somewhere.' The hands left, and Sirius felt himself unconsciously drift in search of them. 'It would make James happy,' reasoned Remus, turning Sirius to face his reflection again.

Remus was manipulating him. This sly, beautiful man was manipulating him by making his hair look fucking gorgeous, and tempting him with wonderfully talented hands, and using his friendship with James as a weakness. He was trying to make Sirius agree to things he would regret later…things he'd rather not be doing…things that might lead to other things on Sirius's part that James might not appreciate. Remus was manipulating him and it was working.

'I'm going to the bar for a couple of drinks,' Sirius found his traitorous mouth saying. 'Do you want to come?'

Remus grinned and any inhibitions Sirius had seemed to vanish. 'I thought you'd never ask.'

XxxxX

'I wouldn't go for him if I were you.'

Sirius tore his eyes away from Mr. Six Pack at the pool table, halting his list of _Ways to Get Into His Pants_ to look at Remus, who was sipping his drink calmly. He raised a questioning eyebrow. 'Why not?'

Remus looked at Mr. Six Pack knowingly. 'He's shite.'

Sirius grinned. 'You talk from experience, or is this just a random statement you made up so that you won't have to walk home?'

Remus snorted and cast a disgusted look towards the man. 'My friend, Peter, he set us up together sometime last year. I hadn't dated for months after my last break up, and he thought we would be perfect for each other.'

Sirius really couldn't imagine how Mr. Six Pack could be perfect for scrawny, skinny _(utterly gorgeous) _Remus Lupin. But for once, he held his tounge, convincing himself that he didn't really want to know anything about Remus, and that Remus wasn't interesting at all, and that so far, they weren't having a good time because Remus did not talk about anything interesting.

_Liar._

'Obviously, my friend thought very little of me,' continued Remus, completely oblivious to Sirius who had finally caught Mr. Six Pack's eye. 'The guy was a royal jerk. He had the looks and all, but as soon as he opened his mouth – ugh!'

Sirius smiled slyly at Six Pack and raised an eyebrow. Oh, he was going to get laid tonight. 'I don't care if he's a jerk. The only thing he'll be opening his mouth for is a blowjob.'

Remus rolled his eyes as Mr. Six Pack winked at Sirius and signaled towards the door with his chin. 'Anyway, I hadn't slept with anyone for five months, so I stuck with him for a while…painfully bore his company. But when he opened his trousers, I had just about had it.'

Sirius's eyes automatically went from Six Pack's chest to his crotch.

Remus grinned, knowing he'd finally caught Sirius's attention. 'He comes short of expectation, if you get my drift.'

Any interest Sirius might have had on the bloke quickly disappeared and he gulped down the last of his drink. 'Well, that saved me a _fucking_ lot of trouble.'

Remus chuckled. 'Hm. Do you and James come here a lot?'

Sirius shrugged and ordered another beer. 'Best place for a drink and a shot of pool. But we go to the club more often…couple of blocks from the house…you've seen it, haven't you?'

Remus swallowed. 'I've never been to a club before.'

If Sirius had any beer in his mouth, he would have spat it out. 'You've never? I can't believe James didn't take you! What the hell do you guys do for fun?'

'He took me to that nice restaurant a couple of days ago,' Remus defended. 'And we went to the movies. Those were fun too…'

Sirius slammed his bottle down on the table. 'Are you a woman or a ponce? For Gods sakes, come on, we'll go there right now.' He stood up and started practically marching towards the exit, when Remus grabbed his hand.

'No, wait…I love this song.' Remus pointed towards the stage where the band had started playing another song Sirius hardly recognised. 'Dance with me?'

Sirius looked at him disbelievingly. 'You're kidding.'

Remus squeezed his hand. 'Come on. We'll go after this, I promise. This song is absolutely beautiful…'

'It's slow,' Sirius argued, even though he'd already put both arms around Remus's waist. 'And boring…'

Remus ignored him, swaying and singing along softly. _'I can't take my eyes off you…' _

He wasn't Pavarotti, but his voice was soothing and melodious at the same time; and Sirius found himself wondering if there was anything Remus was actually bad at. He closed his eyes and leaned a bit closer, knowing it was a bad move, but ignoring the alarms in his head for once.

_'The pupil in denial…'_

'Do you wish I was James?' Sirius found himself asking. He didn't know why, but the thought made him uncomfortable.

'No.'

An unexplainable bubble of happiness welled up inside him, and he rested the side of his head against Remus's, taking in the sweet smell of shampoo.

'James always steps on my feet.'

Sirius laughed softly, relaxing into the song. He could feel the vibrations of Remus's voice against his hair as he sang quietly for only the two of them to hear. Sirius wondered if this was what it was like to be James and sighed. He wished Remus's arms would hold him tighter.

_'I can't take my mind off you.'_

XxxxX


	4. Reassurances

'James!' Sirius practically screamed, as he pushed open the door and barged into the house. 'James!'

Remus who had been quietly working on the sofa practically jumped out of his skin, and only just caught himself from falling off. 'Sirius?' he asked, adjusting his reading glasses and looking at the wall clock.

Sirius swiveled his head maniacally, scanning the room. 'Where's James? I need James!'

Remus got up from the sofa, carefully setting aside his books and papers on the centre table. 'He's at practice. He just called a few minutes ago, says he's going to be late.' He walked up to Sirius and placed a hand on his shoulder. 'Sirius, you okay?'

Sirius brushed off Remus's hand angrily. 'Late? Late?' He snorted. 'Well, that's just fucking rich! After all I did for him! The ungrateful bastard can't even be there when I need him!'

Remus blinked rapidly. 'Er…Sirius, are you drunk?'

Sirius scrunched his face thoughtfully. 'Drunk?' He shook his head slowly, eyes becoming glazed. 'No…no. But that's a fantastic idea though. Yeah.' He smiled satisfactorily. 'I'll just be going then. Cheers!'

Remus's eyes widened. 'Sirius, wait!'

'_What_, Lupin?' asked Sirius through gritted teeth, fumbling with his keys that were currently stuck in the door. 'What is it that you want?'

'Remus.'

Sirius rolled his eyes, simultaneously pulling his keys and pushing the door in the opposite direction. 'I'm sorry, I don't think they sell it at the grocery. I'll be sure to check tho-'

Remus sighed exasperatedly, and placed a gentle on hand over Sirius's own. 'Look, don't get drunk, okay? Stay home instead?'

Sirius quickly moved away his hand from under Remus's, as if burned. 'Why?'

Remus shrugged and gently took out the keys from the hole. 'Well, I'm lonely. You're the only one I know who has time to spare at this ungodly hour. Plus, there's dinner for two waiting in the kitchen, and only one person to eat it.' He smiled expectantly. 'What do you say?'

Sirius frowned. 'Dinner?'

Remus nodded. 'Chinese. And we have ice cream for dessert…'

'What flavour?'

'Chocolate?' asked Remus, hoping it was alluring enough to stop Sirius from drinking and doing something entirely stupid.

Sirius nodded, taking off his jacket and hanging it on the door hook. 'It will have to do.' He flopped down on the couch, and rolled his eyes when he caught Remus staring at him, dumbfounded. 'What are you waiting for? Go on, I'm starving.'

Remus laughed, shaking his head. 'You want to eat on the couch?' he asked, already making his way to the kitchen.

'I want tv.' Remus heard Sirius say from the living room. 'I hear they're starting this new show about…'

Dinner was an overall quiet affair. Sirius sat stoic as he ate, once in a while commenting about how ridiculous a certain show was, or how cheese could come up with better plot lines. He didn't even try to hide the fact that he was angry and upset, occasionally even dishing out on Remus and how his hair was too neat, or his cooking too bland. Remus didn't say much beyond an occasional _'hm'_ or _'yeah'_, until Sirius finally gave up on trying to make Remus angry, and fisted his dark hair painfully to ward off his persisting headache.

Remus looked at him, concern evident in his face. 'Sirius, you alright?'

Sirius snorted. 'Why shouldn't I be? My dreams have finally come true. I'm a fucking millionaire,' he added, with a flourish of his hands, and a mock ecstatic expression on his face.

Remus looked at him confused. 'Congratulations?'

'My father died.'

Remus's face fell. 'Oh, I'm sorry…'

'Don't be,' growled Sirius. 'I just found out too.'

'Oh.' Remus fidgeted slightly. 'Er…do you want to go? T-to your mother's or something? I could drive you there, if you needed it?'

'Going there?' asked Sirius, a sardonic smile playing on his face. 'Yeah, why not? Worth seeing the expression on Mother's face. Bloody bitch!'

Remus was shocked to silence and Sirius let out a barking laugh. Of course Remus was unused to such hostility toward one's mother. He probably grew up in a sickeningly loving home, where they had home cooked meals and money was never compared with happiness. They probably gave each other _hugs _the time, or something equally disgusting.

Sirius was jerked out of his bitter thoughts, by a consoling hand on his shoulder. A slight shiver shot up his spine, and a part of his mind told him to shrug Remus's hand off. He decided against it, because a greater, more desperate part of him wanted the comfort Remus was offering him.

He wished James was here. James would joke and talk about Lily Evans; he would force Sirius out of his brooding, wouldn't even let him think about it. He wouldn't sit here, so close, with an arm around Sirius's shoulder, and he definitely wouldn't allow Sirius space to talk and be willing to listen to him at the same time.

Sirius really hated Remus.

'I mean, I don't get it, you know…I really don't,' Sirius said, when the silence had become stifling. He unconsciously leaned into Remus, until his back was resting against Remus's chest. 'He told me I was never his son, you know. When I was running away, he didn't even try to find me, didn't even bother to check if I was still alive.' Remus stroked his hair slowly, Sirius's head now resting on his shoulder. 'He pops his clogs, and now suddenly, I'm the heir to the entire Black empire. Me…the shame of the family…the disgraced…'

'I doubt he thought you were a shame, Sirius,' said Remus softly.

Sirius let out a bitter laugh. 'You don't read the papers much, do you? I made the headlines for nearly a week after I ran away. Father made his it quite clear exactly what he thought of me.

'Grownups sometimes do odd things when they're angry, Sirius. He probably never meant it. Maybe this is his way of apologising.'

'No,' frowned Sirius. 'No. I know him, he has a motive. I just have to figure it out. Maybe he has some debts that need to be taken care of. Maybe the business is failing and he wants to take me down with the sinking ship. Maybe…maybe, he thinks that if he leaves everything to me, mother and little Reggie will finally get angry enough to kill me.'

'Or maybe, he just wanted to help you out.'

Sirius closed his eyes, rubbing his face with both hands. 'That's what he used to say, you know. That he was only trying to do what's best for us and help us out. The fuck believed it too. He really thought he was dong things right, with his bigoted beliefs and Black supremacy and all that shite. Sodding bastard.'

There was silence after that, the wall clock ticking away almost noisily. Remus continued to card his fingers through Sirius's black hair, sometimes massaging the nape of his neck soothingly. It helped to a certain extent; but it was Remus's rhythmic heartbeat beneath Sirius's palm that finally cooled down the bitter anger that had been boiling inside him for so long.

Sirius buried his face into the soft cotton of Remus's t-shirt. 'I hate him,' he whispered, and Remus's hold tightened on him.

He felt incredibly weak, and was suddenly glad, James wasn't there. Sirius had never let anyone see this side to him, not even James. He'd locked himself in the bathroom after he had run away from home all those years ago; and had stayed there until the tears tracks had dried, and the swelling of his eyes had gone down. He was Sirius Black and he was supposed to be angry. Angry with life, angry with the world, angry with the people around him, angry with his father, and most of all, angry with Remus for putting him in such a state. A state where only his age and recovered pride was keeping him from breaking down to tears like he had when he was sixteen.

Realising his position, Sirius reluctantly freed himself from Remus, wondering when he had wrapped his arms so tightly around the other man. He looked up to see Remus's green eyes staring at him with an unreadable expression.

'I'm sorry,' said Sirius slowly, though he wasn't sure what he was apologising for. 'Thanks for the dinner. You're really a brilliant cook.'

Remus blinked and shook his head. 'I didn't make it. It's from _Kaw Loon_.'

'Oh.' The situation should have been funny, but Sirius found it hard to laugh under Remus's intense gaze.

Remus smiled, and just when Sirius made a move to get up, he grabbed him by the chin. 'Sirius, I want you to know…that I'm here. If there's anything you need-'

Sirius cut him off by closing the gap between them, and pressing his lips firmly to Remus's. Remus made a small noise at the back of his throat, and Sirius half expected to be pushed away. Instead, he felt hands travel from his face, down to his chest, finally settling down to his lower back and pulling him closer roughly.

Sirius braced himself, both hands clutching the sofa on either side of Remus's head. He could feel their hearts beating against each other frantically as their chest pressed close together. His hands scrabbled to take off Remus's shirt and then his own, as an aching need to feel to feel naked skin against his own overwhelmed him.

It was hot, an overbearing pressure forcing him to move closer, kiss harder, plunge his tounge inside that gorgeous, inviting mouth.

Remus nipped at his neck, and Sirius finally lost the last shred of his sanity. He pushed his hips forward, almost involuntarily, and gasped as their erections brushed together.

'Bedroom,' said Sirius throatily. 'Now.'

Sirius didn't know how they made it to the bedroom, as they kissed and rubbed against each other, pressed up tight against the walls of the corridors. He didn't even know whose bed they'd collapsed into, as they fumbled with belts and trousers. All he knew was that it had never been this good before, even in his fantasies. His knees had never felt weak enough to collapse, his lungs had never felt this short of air, nor had his body feel as worshipped as it did now, beneath Remus's open mouth and sweaty skin.

Remus was sucking and nibbling at his nipples, his stomach, his exposed hip bones; making Sirius arch off the bed with pure unadulterated need.

'Remus,' he groaned, hands reaching to pull the man up, to feel those soft lips against his. 'Remus,' he said again, hands slipping inside Remus's shorts and cupping his arse. 'Fuck me.'

Sirius felt Remus stiffen on top of him. 'Oh shit,' Remus said suddenly, eyes widening as if realising where he was, and breaking away from the kiss. 'Oh God, what are we doing?'

Sirius felt Remus trying to get up, and tightened his arms around him. 'It's nothing,' whispered, Sirius, running his tounge over Remus's lips.

Remus moaned, making weak attempts at trying to dislodge Sirius's grip. 'James,' he panted. 'Sirius…James…we can't…Oh-'

'No one has to know. It's just a fuck.' He squeezed Remus's prominent erection. 'Just a fuck,' he repeated, his throat feeling oddly constricted.

Remus suddenly pushed himself off Sirius with full force. 'No,' he said, moving away quickly when Sirius reached out for him. 'No, we can't do this, Sirius. I'm sorry.' He ran a shaking hand through his hair. 'Oh God…_shit_…'

Sirius, whose hand was hanging in the air for so long, finally let it drop. 'Have it your way,' he tried, shrugging indifferently, despite the iron fist clutching at his heart. 'Missed out on a good shag, if you ask me.'

Remus stared at him, eyes shining brightly in the dark. 'I-I should go,' he muttered slowly. 'It's late. I s-should get some sleep.'

Sirius turned away, pulling the sheets over himself as he lay on his side, facing the wall. 'You do that.'

'I-Yeah. Goodnight.'

Sirius closed his eyes, listening as Remus turned the door handle. 'Remus?'

'Yeah?'

This was so stupid. Why did common sense have to kick in now? Couldn't it have waited until they'd both fucked each other senseless, and Sirius had gotten over this ridiculous infatuation? Now, he was stuck with an aching boner and an even larger urge to have his best friend's boyfriend.

'I'd really appreciate it if you slept with me tonight.' He tried not to sound too hopeful, as he stared at Remus's shadow moving on the wall.

'Sirius, I can't. I'm with James-'

'God, no, nothing like that,' replied Sirius, turning on his back and looking at Remus. 'What do you take me for? No, I just want you to stay, you know. It won't matter if you don't want to. You can go to your bed if the thought makes you uncomfortable.'

Remus looked down at his feet. 'This is my bed.'

Sirius looked around, for the first time since they'd entered, noticing the numerous awards and medals hanging on the walls. 'Oh. I guess I-'

Sirius shut up when he felt the bed dip and Remus climb beneath the sheets. Sirius tried to not let his disappointment show at the wide gap between their bodies.

'Right,' he said, turning away from Remus again. 'Goodnight.'

There was a slight pause, where Sirius thought that perhaps Remus had fallen asleep. He was contemplating turning around to see if his hypothesis was true, when he felt an arm wrap around his waist and a flat chest press against his back.

'Goodnight, Sirius.'

XxxxX

Sirius sighed and snuggled closer to the warmth surrounding him. He could feel the rise and fall of a chest against his own, and soft breath fanning across his collarbone.

It wasn't morning yet; the sun's light usually came pouring through the windows of the apartment in the morning, but something had definitely woken him up. The something in question was getting louder, and a part of Sirius mind registered that it sounded a lot like footfalls.

He should get up, he really should, but he didn't want to. It was comfortable here, in Remus's arms, and it was hardly a time to wake up if the sun hadn't risen yet. Besides, he reasoned, their legs were tangled together in a jumbled mess, and Remus's arms had too tight a grip for Sirius to dislodge without actually waking him up. The situation was against such a decision, and so, he stayed the way he was, until he felt a door slam noisily, and his brain suddenly kicked in…

_James._

James had come home and found Sirius in _his_ bed. With _his_ boyfriend.

_Bugger. _

Sirius quickly got up, eliciting a soft whine from Remus. He was surprisingly, still asleep, and Sirius couldn't help but press a soft kiss on his forehead before exiting the room in a hurry.

He found James in the hall, fumbling with the buttons of his coat angrily as he fast- walked towards the door out of their apartment. Sirius grabbed him by the arm, but James pushed it off.

'James, wait a minute, will you?'

James whirled around, his eyes blazing with fury. 'Fuck you, Sirius, fuck you!' he shouted, stabbing Sirius with his finger. 'I can't bloody believe you!'

James was angry, angrier than Sirius had ever seen him; and an idea slowly crept up into Sirius's mind. He could use this anger, manipulate it to his benefit, let James think Remus was cheating on him and break up with him. Then, perhaps, Sirius could have Remus. Just for one night, just to get over him, and get on with his life.

'You just can't keep your dick to yourself, can you? Sirius Black has to fuck everyone in bloody London!'

James could have anyone he wanted. He didn't need Remus. If he could stage this break up, Remus would be out of their lives forever. Sirius would have what he wanted, and then he and James could go back to the lives they'd been leading before. It was perfect in everyway.

'Just when I think I might be in love with him, you have to go and fuck him, don't you, you bloody bastard!'

The statement hit like a ton of bricks.

James was in love with Remus. This wasn't just a passing fancy, or something Sirius could just dismiss for his own selfish reasons. What was he thinking?

'James! I didn't fuck him, okay!' Sirius shouted, dodging the punch his friend aimed at him.

'You motherfucking, piece of-'

Sirius grabbed James by the shoulders and shook him vigourously. 'Listen to me! I didn't. Fuck. Remus. I didn't fuck him! I tried to, but I didn't!'

James stopped struggling. 'You tried to?'

Sirius let go of his best friend. 'Yeah. Look, I didn't mean anything by it. I was drunk as shit, yeah,' he lied. 'Father died.'

'Oh.'

'Yeah, I'm really sorry. I came home looking for you, and Remus was only trying to comfort me. We're still mates, yeah?'

James nodded, his face relaxing. 'Yeah. We're mates.' He smiled. 'I'm sorry. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions like that. I know you'd never…and neither would Remus.'

Sirius nodded, guilt washing over him. 'So you're in love with him?' he asked, his chest tightening. He didn't really want to hear the answer, but he'd asked anyway.

James shrugged, walking towards the sofa and sitting down. 'I don't know. I think I do. Not as much as Lily. I don't think I'll ever fancy someone like that, you know. But…I care about Remus quite a bit…'

Sirius looked down at his feet, curling and uncurling his toes. 'I'm happy for you, mate. Remus…he's really wonderful.' He forced a smile, not quite meeting his friend's eye.

James smiled goofily. 'He is.'

Sirius ran a hand through his hair. 'So, where were you? I know practices don't go on so far in the night.'

James glanced at his watch and shrugged. 'I guess I lost track of time. Lily invited me to dinner.'

'What, the whole team? She must be real happy with you guys.'

'No, it was just the two of us.' When James saw Sirius's doubtful expression, he hastened to explain, 'It's not what you think. She just wanted to have dinner as friends, that's all.'

Sirius frowned, but said nothing.

'Is Remus still asleep?'

XxxxX


	5. Life Alterations

Sirius stretched his hands wide and breathed in the scent of fresh paint and varnish. So this was what it was like to stand in the main office of the Black Empire, looking down upon the commoners slaving away for their daily bread. This was what it was like to have power over almost everyone and everything; to be able to do what he wanted whenever he wanted; to be immune to the rules that governed the citizens of this country. It felt like shite.

Sirius laughed maniacally at the irony of it all, resting his head on the glass of the enormous window, his shoulders shaking from anything but mirth, his hair falling haphazardly over his face.

'Sir, are you alright?'

He turned to look at his new secretary who was peeking out of the door, biting her lips nervously. She probably thought him as mad; it wasn't far form the truth.

'I'm fine,' Sirius replied, still grinning inanely, and looking back at the window. 'Go back to work., Ms. Greene.'

The view was truly fantastic from up here; a full view of the true London metropolis, complete with honking cars, overambitious business people and if you squinted really hard, you could make out the beginnings of the river as well.

Sirius sighed, flopping down on the chair and making it spin on its wheels. He winced when the chair creaked noisily from disuse. How typical of his father to have sat on the same chair every single day of his life, and yet, never have given it an experimental turn. In fact, the entire office looked like a replica of the study back at Grimmauld Place, Sirius's home before he had run away. Pristine white walls, expensive and painfully boring, dark furniture, a few potted plants at the corners (obviously fake); there was nothing that indicated Orion Black's life. No family pictures, no personalized paper weight, or doodles on stray papers borne from boredom. The room was as immaculate and uptight as Sirius's father had been.

Sirius didn't even know why he'd accepted all of this in the first place. He could have passed the business on; no doubt, Mother would have loved to get her grubby hands on the family business. The family tree wasn't exactly short of members scrabbling to expand their fortune and manipulate innocent people into doing their bidding.

Yet, Sirius had signed the will, taken in everything upon his shoulders, and started making changes on the first day of work. A lot of people were unhappy with his methods; quite a few complained that he was the worst possible heir ever and a shame to the Black family name.

Sirius didn't deny it. He didn't believe in lying without a valid reason.

None of the comments deterred him, however, and he carried on with what he believed was for the best. It was time the Black Empire got a different tag to their name; cruel and ruthless was getting a bit out of fashion.

XxxxX

Sirius was folding the last of his underwear into his suitcase when he heard the lock click and voices that indicated that James and Remus had just entered the house.

'Sirius, you bastard, you missed today's game!!!' James cried out, barging into Sirius's room, arm in arm with Remus. 'It was fucking fantastic, I really-' He stopped midway, confused and frowning as Sirius pulled the top of the suitcase shut. 'Is it holiday time or something?'

Sirius smiled and shook his head. 'I'm moving.'

'WHAT?' James's eyes nearly popped out of head. 'WHY?'

Sirius shrugged, walking out of the room. 'I accepted the job; I'm replacing dad, so I chose a flat closer to office. It'll save me a lot of trouble of going back and forth all the time. Maybe I can work from home or something.'

'What the fuck? When did you start making decisions like that without even asking me first?' James cried out, following him.

'You're not my keeper, James,' Sirius replied, brusquely, cruelly. 'I think I'm in charge of what I am to do with my life.'

'No!' James yelled, grabbing Sirius's suitcase by the handle and trying to pull it away from him. 'Sirius, you can't go! You can't just leave me like this! We're brothers! We've always lived together!'

Sirius gritted his teeth in anger. 'Don't be a child, James! We both knew this day would come! We were going to move on with our lives at some point; me with my career and you with the love of your life and your happily ever after's!'

James looked like he'd been punched in the gut. 'But-'

Sirius sighed and grabbed his best friend by the shoulders, giving him a brief hug. 'Look, we'll still hang out, all right. I'll come to all your games as usual, and we'll drink at the pub every weekend. We just won't be living together, that's all.'

James nodded reluctantly, but didn't quite look Sirius in the eyes. 'Do whatever the fuck you want, I don't care.'

'The movers will come to take my furniture away tomorrow, so just show them in, will you?' Sirius said, pulling the front door open, and tossing the keys to the flat towards James.

He looked at Remus, who had been uncharacteristically quiet throughout the whole ordeal, and wondered if they were ever going to see each other again. Sirius preferred it if they didn't. In all honesty, his new job wasn't the only reason he was moving. In fact, the primary reason for it was none other than Remus Lupin himself. It was becoming painfully unbearable for Sirius to live in the same house as James's new boyfriend; Remus was always there, talking to him, laughing with him, and just being generally one of the greatest people Sirius had ever met.

It was annoying.

Annoying, because it made it physically impossible for Sirius to keep his hands to himself, even if it was just a small brush of fingers while passing the salad, or a sudden bump of bodies when walking down the hallway. Sirius wanted Remus; wanted Remus in him, around him, touching him, being with him. It was lust like he'd never felt before. Sometimes, Remus would look at him in a way, all smouldering eyes and turned up smiles, that would warm Sirius's entire body and leave him with the feeling that maybe, just maybe, Remus wanted to fuck him too. That the night when Sirius had come home with the news of his father's death hadn't just been a fluke. It was stupid he knew; if Remus was anything, it was insanely loyal and besotted to James.

James, who was everything to Sirius; James who had taken Sirius in when no one else would; treated him like family when everyone else shunned him; and cared for Sirius like no one has ever been able to even today. James, who was also very much in love with Remus Lupin.

'I'll see you around, yeah?' Sirius kissed James's cheek and left.

'I'm doing this for you anyway,' Sirius muttered under his breath, as he jogged down the stairs as fast as he could with two heavy suitcases.

He had unlocked the car and was about to get in, when he heard an all too familiar voice calling his name.

'Sirius, wait!' Remus panted, running towards him. 'Don't go!' He stopped in front of the car, hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. 'Wait.'

Sirius rolled his eyes impatiently. 'What is it, Lupin? Hurry up, I don't have all day, you know. You can breathe later.'

Remus straightened up. 'Look, don't go,' he said softly, grabbing both of Sirius's hands and squeezing tightly. 'James will be distraught without you here.'

Sirius stared at their entwined hands before pulling away. 'He'll get over it.'

'No! Look, Sirius…' Remus bit his lip nervously. 'Is this about me and…you know…am I the reason you're leaving?'

Sirius inwardly seethed; Remus had guessed perfectly, and he hated it. Sirius Black didn't like his weaknesses showing. 'No,' he lied, but his hold on the car door tightened considerably. 'No, Lupin, not everything's about you, you get that?'

Remus looked down at his feet. 'I just…it'd be nice if you stayed…please?'

'My God, Lupin, you are by far, the biggest prick I've ever had the misfortune of meeting, you know that?' Sirius banged his fist against the car roof. 'Why do you care so much anyway, huh? You hardly know me, and let me tell you, you don't need to pretend to be nice to me and fawn over me just to get into James's good books. And I most definitely don't need your hypocritical shite following me around all the time.'

Remus's eyes widened pleadingly. 'No, it's not-'

'Oh shut the fuck up, Lupin! You know, I don't even know what James sees in you! You're stupid beyond words, you can't do anything right, your hideously ugly, you talk too much, and you're annoying to the point where I want to choke myself to death just to get away from you!' Sirius tried to tell himself that he didn't care for the hurt expression on Remus's face and ploughed on, 'So why don't you do me a favour and take your self righteous arse up the stairs, get out of my sight, and get yourself _fucked_!'

Sirius got in the car and slammed it hard in Remus's face. He tried not to look at the other man, focusing intently on getting the car started and getting the fuck out of here. Somewhere through the corner of his eyes he saw James bounding down the building steps two at a time and running towards Remus.

'Did you talk to him?' Sirius heard James asking Remus, as he fired up the ignition. 'Will he stay? What did he say?'

'He says he'll miss you, James.'

Sirius had driven half way to his new apartment before getting out of the car and retching this morning's breakfast into a dingy alleyway.

XxxxX

Sirius inhaled deeply from his cigarette as he watched Will WhatHisName (Sirius didn't make it a point to learn the names of every man he picked up at the club) pull on his trousers. Sirius had given up smoking years ago upon James's insistence; he had never touched a cigarette since then. Yet, when passing by the supermarket counter a couple of days ago, Sirius's hand had automatically reached out for it, literally shaking with need. It calmed his nerves, but did nothing for the self loathing that had settled deep inside of him.

Sirius looked away from Will, closing his eyes and sighing heavily. He felt disgusted with himself. For some God forsaken reason, Sirius had never felt as filthy and vile as he did right at that moment.

Those eyes…Remus's eyes…it was all their fault…those soulful eyes that kept staring at him every time Sirius tried to pick up someone for the night. They'd haunted him for weeks, months maybe; Sirius hadn't been able to shag anyone for that long and it drove him crazy. They made him feel like everything was his fault; that he was being cruel and deceitful; that he was betraying them. It was ridiculous; Sirius had never _had _anything with Remus to betray in the first place.

Still, those eyes never left him, but added to them a face and soft dirty blond hair. Sirius couldn't get him out of his mind.

He had though, Sirius told himself, he had forgotten them last night, hadn't he? When he had brought Will to bed, he hadn't thought of Remus even once; not until the very end of his climax when Sirius had buried his face between the other man's shoulder blades and cried out _that _name. But not until then, Sirius told himself again, not until then, which proved that it was just a mistake. It was just a name, it hadn't actually meant anything.

'So, I'll see you again?'

Sirius opened his eyes to see Will staring at him intently. Will, who had the most perfect body and the most perfect face, with dark blond, almost brown hair falling across his face and a voice that was low and spoke in slow, sure words. Will, whose eyes were just a plain shade of brown.

Sirius stubbed his cigarette against the bedside table. 'Don't flatter yourself.'

XxxxX


	6. Odds and Endings

The answering machine blinked ominously in the dark, and Sirius sighed heavily as he prepared himself to listen to the usual tirade that James subjected him to everyday on the phone. It was starting to almost become a ritual now; Sirius would come home, purposefully overworked and exhausted; listen to all his messages while he changed, ate whatever he could salvage for dinner; and then promptly fall asleep, sometimes on the couch.

'_Sirius, you fucking bastard, why in sodding hell are you avoiding me?' _

Sirius rolled his eyes as he shrugged off his coat and toed off his shoes. 'I'm not avoiding you, mate, I'm just busy with work,' he explained to no one in particular.

'_And don't think you can get away with any of that "work" shite! That isn't a valid excuse for avoiding your best friend or not keeping your word! You told me you'd be there, you bloody git!' _

'Yes, but then later, you told me _he'd _be there, too,' Sirius replied, rummaging in the fridge for yesterday's leftovers. He fished out Chinese takeout with flourish and gave it an experimental sniff, heaving a sigh of relief on finding that it didn't smell too much like a public toilet.

'_I mean, I was searching for you in the stands like an absolute fool, can you believe that? I mean, you missed the others, too, but this was the finals, Sirius! The finals! Do you have any idea how important they were to me?' _

'Not as important as me attempting to grope your boyfriend, I'm sure,' Sirius said darkly, stabbing his food with his fork. 'Honestly, do you have to drag him along everywhere you go? He told me he didn't even like football. He prefers cricket, but do you ever bother listening to him, or try to find out what _he _actually wants to do?'

'_Well, you'll be happy to know that we won regardless, and that I'm throwing a big celebration party at the flat tomorrow night. You'd better come, Sirius, I mean it. Or I'll crash at your place instead. Don't think I can't find out where you live.' _

Sirius's eyes widened and his food slid off his fork. 'You wouldn't dare.'

'_Don't think I won't do it, Sirius, and don't think you can get away with not coming. If you ignore me any longer, I'm ending our friendship, screwing our brotherhood, declaring war against you! Oh fuck, you know that's not true, but it would really be great if you could come, mate. I haven't seen you in ages!'_

'It wouldn't be the brightest of ideas: me coming over. Disastrous, in fact,' Sirius tried to reason with James's angry tone. 'You'll end up with your underwear on your head, singing Christmas carols from the roof.'

Sirius tried to push down the little part of him that wanted to go; wanted to see Remus, even if it's just a glimpse. It wasn't like Sirius missed him or anything; he wasn't guilty about what he'd said the last time they'd seen each other. He just wanted to make sure James was all right.

'_Be there by seven and bring a date if it makes you happy, but just come.' _

Sirius snorted; he hadn't had a date for weeks. To Sirius, no one fit the bill, no one came up to the standards that he set anymore, and no one could quite satisfy him the way he wanted. It was pathetic really – how his sexual life had begun to resemble that of a monk.

'_Remus doesn't quite know the team members that well, and he hates Caradoc's drunken ramblings almost as much as you do, so you can keep each other company.' _

Sirius groaned.

'_Don't be late!'_

'Fine,' Sirius snapped, his resolve now in shambles. 'But I'm leaving early and I'm not buying you any gifts.'

XxxxX

The door to James's flat was already wide open when Sirius came in, loud music blaring across the hall and all the way downstairs. The sitting room was crowded with drunk and dancing people, and to Sirius's distaste, Caradoc Dearborn had gotten himself a girlfriend and was sucking her face off on what used to be his favourite couch.

'Disgusting,' Sirius muttered to himself, before bumping hard into someone and finding himself on the receiving end of a very tight hug.

'Sirius!!! It's been so long!!' A very inebriated Fabian Prewett cried as he planted a sloppy kiss on Sirius's cheek. 'Good to see you, mate!'

Sirius forced a smile, trying to get Fabian off him as politely as he could. 'Good to see you, too, Fay. Have you seen James?'

Fabian scrunched up his face in thought. 'Dunno…I think he went in to change. I spilt beer on him, you know.' He grinned as he declared the last part as if it was the biggest accomplishment of his life.

'How fascinating,' muttered Sirius darkly, making his way through the throng of people towards James' bedroom. He was about to open the door when he heard a very loud moan that could only belong to James, and felt his eyes pop out of his head. 'Fuck, you're joking.' The moans were growing steadily more pronounced, and Sirius backed away from the door as if on fire. Blood was rushing to his head, making it pound painfully; his throat clenched painfully. This was why he didn't want to come. This was why he'd been steadily avoiding James for well over a month.

Sirius was ready to walk away as fast as he could, but stopped abruptly when he heard another moan, a decidedly very female one. More on instinct than tact, he flung the door open only to see his best friend on top of Lily Evans, both topless with James's hand underneath her skirt.

'What the fuck?'

Both James and Lily leaped, only noticing Sirius's presence. Lily pulled the sheets around herself, a dark blush spreading across her pale cheeks to match her hair.

'Sirius!' James cried, grinning.

_Grinning_. Sirius couldn't believe the bastard.

'Sirius, you came!' James said joyfully, climbing out of bed to stand beside Sirius and close the bedroom door behind him. He slung a friendly arm around Sirius's shoulder. 'I was so sure you wouldn't…I was almost beginning to thi-'

'Get the fuck off me!' Sirius cried, shocked at the complete apathy James was displaying. It was as if he didn't know, like it didn't even matter. 'How could you do this to him, James?' he yelled, pushing his baffled best friend roughly in the chest. 'Fuck, does he even know, or are you chea-'

James grabbed Sirius's shoulders firmly, his voice quiet as he spoke, 'Slow down, okay. You're getting ahead of yourself.'

The rage that filled Sirius was unexplainable: burning red hot, consuming, and destructive. It was the first time Sirius had ever wanted to hurt James, to beat him senseless. 'I'm getting ahead of myself? What the fuck do you think you're doing?' He spat venomously. 'What's that…that _woman _doing here? You're supposed to be with-'

'Remus broke up with me,' James said calmly.

Sirius felt his brain explode. 'WHAT?'

James nodded, smiling. 'Yeah, it was the oddest thing, too. He brought Lily over himself, shoved her towards me, and told us that we were both being daft and even a blind person could see that we were both in love with each other.'

'I don't understand,' whispered Sirius, suddenly feeling very confused and lost. At the same time, a shameless, less curious part of him couldn't help but feel happy at the new developments.

'I don't either, but God Sirius, she's wonderful. She's- I can't even explain it, but I never thought I'd have her in my arms, you know. It's like a dream or something.' James eyes shone with unbridled happiness as he smiled so wide, it looked as if it was going to fall off his face. 'I stand by what I said before; Remus is really the best damn thing that's ever happened to me.'

Sirius felt something in his chest tighten painfully. 'Did he-What will-?' He didn't know what to ask, everything that he'd heard was now starting to overwhelm and confuse him even further.

James sighed, looking down at his feet dejectedly. 'He's going back to Chelsea. Not today!' He hastened to explain when he saw Sirius's worried face. 'Tomorrow, I guess. I tried to make him stay, said he was one of the best friends I ever had, but he wouldn't listen.' James looked up to meet Sirius's eyes, and there was genuine sorrow in his expression. 'He said he was happier in a place where he didn't have people to care about.'

'He loved you,' Sirius whispered quietly and perhaps, a little hatefully.

James shook his head, smiling sadly. 'He didn't. When I told him that I…maybe…you know…he never said it back. Said he wasn't really sure and thank you.'

Sirius felt his heart soar and against his will, his lips turned upwards in a smile. Suddenly, the prospect of seeing Remus didn't seem too unbearable; in fact, it had now morphed into a necessity. 'Where is he? Do you know?'

'Terrace.' When Sirius hastened to go, James grabbed him by the arm. 'You should leave him alone, Sirius; give him some time to gather things.'

'Yeah, sure,' Sirius replied unconvincingly, before running faster than he'd ever done his entire life, up the stairs leading to the terrace.

By the time, he'd reached the top, Sirius was breathless, not from running continuously up four flights, but by the sight that beheld him. Remus was standing there, eyes closed and face lifted to the skies without a care in the world. An occasional wind lifted his hair in a playful dance, made his clothes ripple and lift to reveal the bare skin of his back teasingly before letting his shirt fall back down again.

'Hey,' Sirius said, after having caught his breath and straightened himself consciously.

Remus whirled around quickly, his eyes growing impossibly large as he saw Sirius 'I-I didn't think anyone would be up here,' he stuttered, his cheeks turning pink in the most endearing way. 'I-I guess I should be getting out of your way, huh?'

Sirius grasped Remus's hand before he could move away. 'You broke up with James.' It wasn't said accusingly; it was more of a question, or perhaps a statement that needed to be clarified.

Remus stared at their entwined hands before taking his own back and settling it across the railing. 'It was the right thing to do. James and Lily are meant to be together, and I was always in between. James deserves to be with her.'

'What about you?' Sirius asked, making sure to hold Remus's gaze. 'Have you ever thought about what you deserve?'

Remus turned away to face the streets. 'You'll have your life back in place again. Isn't that what you wanted?' he asked, not quite answering the question.

'And what did you want?' Sirius persisted, undeterred. 'Did you want to be with James?'

Remus sighed heavily. 'Look, I'm not upset if that's what you're hinting at. To me, this is just another day that I'll forget in given time,' his voice came out broken and tired, betraying the apathy in his words. 'I'll go back home, I'll carry on with my life just like always, and James will just be another name on my list of failed relationships.'

Sirius raised an eyebrow. 'You have a list?'

Remus chuckled humourlessly. 'More of a novel, really. It might come as a surprise to you, but people tire of me fairly quick.'

Sirius felt a terrible ache in his chest, and he reached out to place a hand on Remus's cheek, brushing his thumb over smooth skin tenderly. 'They're mad. They're all mad,' he said fiercely, his hand now moving upwards to tucks errant strands of hair behind Remus's ear. 'You're…you're _beautiful_.'

Remus smiled, moving Sirius's fingers away from his cheek, but keeping them loosely encased within his own hands. 'I remember you having a different opinion not too long ago.'

Sirius's hold on Remus tightened. 'Look, about that; I didn't mean any of-'

'You don't need to apologise. I understand.'

Sirius didn't know what to say after that, so for the first time in his life, he kept quiet, simply watching and admiring Remus's profile with shameless abandon. He drank in every detail, ever curve and slope, wondering how someone could be so beautiful, so flawless in his eyes. Remus, in his part, said nothing about Sirius's unwavering gaze or Sirius's continued hold on his hand; but stared at the busy streets of London with more concentration than necessary.

'Don't go back, Remus,' Sirius said suddenly, breaking the silence and startling Remus. 'Neither of us wants you to. You've sort of become a part of the group. It wouldn't seem right without you.'

Remus smiled softly. 'You'll manage, but I won't. This place has become too personal to me; there's too much attachment and not enough involvement.' Remus rolled his eyes. 'I'm sorry, I'm not making much sense.'

Sirius swallowed, still unsure of what to say. Remus was an enigma; the sort of person who was unpredictable and unreadable. Sirius couldn't tell if Remus was attracted to him or not; he couldn't tell if Remus had been in love with James all along, but too scared to say so. Hell, for all Sirius knew, Remus could be in love with Fabian Prewett.

'It might work out,' Sirius tried, ambiguously. 'It might not always be like this. You won't know if you don't stay.'

Remus shook his head. 'I can't make a person fall in love with me, Sirius.'

Sirius swallowed, taking a chance and continuing, 'But what if…what if he's already in love with you, Remus? What if he can't stop thinking about you; can't stop dreaming about you?' He held Remus by the back of his neck, so that the man had no other choice but to look at him. 'What if for the first time in his miserable life, he's actually fallen in love, but hates himself for it because he can't have it? What if – oh fuck this.'

Sirius crashed his lips into Remus, one arm holding Remus's face firmly in place while the other settled on the small of Remus's back, forcing their bodies impossibly close.

'Stay,' Sirius panted out, still keeping a strong hold on Remus should he decide to get away. 'Share the night with me, spend my life with me.'

Remus looked shocked, hesitant, and confused all at the same time. However, it didn't escape Sirius notice that Remus was holding him just as tightly, fists clenched tightly at the back of his shirt. 'I don't-'

Sirius didn't give him a chance to protest as he kissed Remus again, open mouthed and harder this time. His insides were rampaging wildly, his mind lost surrendering to the complete bliss he felt to have Remus in his arms, to be able to kiss him and touch him without feeling any sort of guilt.

They parted far too quick, chests heaving and hands clutching at each other like lifelines.

'Yeah,' Remus breathed out as he saw the nervous expectance in Sirius's eyes. His face broke into beatific and carefree smile, and Sirius felt his heart flutter madly within his rib cage. 'Yeah…okay,' he said again before pulling down Sirius for another kiss.

**The End**

_That's the end, folks, of Twisted Fates. I hope all of you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. It's been my little baby for a long time, and please excuse any mistakes I've made, or if the ending is crappy or not quite what you expected. It's been a lovely ride regardless. Love to all!! Cheers!_


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